Waiting
Waiting is always hard. For that trip you've been dreaming of, for warmer weather, for test results that could change your life, for the birth of a child. Even if the waiting is exciting, it's always hard. These past few weeks I feel like I've just been waiting... It's hard.
Through the pain and the tears, which still randomly, against my will, flow freely from my eyes. I see hope at the end of this waiting, but it's not easy or fun. The past few weeks have been extra difficult for me. It started with the announcement of a pregnancy, this baby due just 4 days before mine was. I unexpectedly burst into tears. People tell you it's normal for this to happen but it's a very odd emotion to be excited for someone yet so very jealous at the same time. That should have been me too. Since then it seems everywhere I turn there is another excited family announcing a pregnancy. They have every right to be excited! I would be too! It's just hard to have a constant reminder of what you've lost everywhere you turn.
It's hard to understand just what God is doing when you are in the midst of pain. I know He knows best, and has a perfect plan for our family. It's often easier to tell yourself that, than to believe it. I know there are so many reasons I am blessed. I am so very grateful for this life I have, even through all the tears these past few weeks. I know that as time passes the tears will lessen and the hurt will heal. I know one day I will be able to look back at this and know God really did have a better plan than I did.
Through the pain and the tears, which still randomly, against my will, flow freely from my eyes. I see hope at the end of this waiting, but it's not easy or fun. The past few weeks have been extra difficult for me. It started with the announcement of a pregnancy, this baby due just 4 days before mine was. I unexpectedly burst into tears. People tell you it's normal for this to happen but it's a very odd emotion to be excited for someone yet so very jealous at the same time. That should have been me too. Since then it seems everywhere I turn there is another excited family announcing a pregnancy. They have every right to be excited! I would be too! It's just hard to have a constant reminder of what you've lost everywhere you turn.
It's hard to understand just what God is doing when you are in the midst of pain. I know He knows best, and has a perfect plan for our family. It's often easier to tell yourself that, than to believe it. I know there are so many reasons I am blessed. I am so very grateful for this life I have, even through all the tears these past few weeks. I know that as time passes the tears will lessen and the hurt will heal. I know one day I will be able to look back at this and know God really did have a better plan than I did.
Comments